Does parenting ever actually ends? Most parents share the opinion that such is an ongoing process. Whether your protégés are teenagers or legitimate adults, age does not sever the tie that binds you together. So long as there is still a line of contact or a thread of communication between and among the family members, there will certainly be some degree of support, be it financial, psychological, emotional or even all of the above. People who have encountered the worst with regard the attitude of their teens offer various parenting tips that could help first time parents to cope up with the demands of having hormonally charged young adults.
Leave their nests
Parents know that when their children ‘leave their nests’ that does not mean that they will never come back. It is essential that parents be able to provide assistance and to offer everything within their capacity without forcing themselves back into the lives of their kids. A daughter who is just recovering from a divorce, a son who just lost his job and cannot afford to pay the rent, or even a daughter who accidentally got pregnant and needs a pillar to lean on. Often times, it is not the money that brings the children back. It is the protection, the compassion, and the listening ear that keeps them coming back. These are a few of the parenting tips that could help alleviate the load that comes with parenting.
Supporting your child
To give support, this is the bottom line of parenting. It does not matter whether you have a minor or a legal adult by your side. Bear in mind that your children are your legacy. You have molded them into what they are today. They have created their own personality and paved their own path. You as a parent will get hurt when they decide to move out and have their own lives. Of course, there will be hardships linked to parenting. Tips to prevent a parent from being labeled as an interference, too over bearing or too controlling can be found all over the internet and these categorizations may prove disheartening. But one must remember that whatever their age may be, wherever they are physically, they will always be your babies.
Parenting Styles: The Power of Positive Reinforcement
Ever remember being scolded by your dad when you acted negligently? Or when your mom went berserk when you got caught sneaking out with your current fling? Unfortunately, these are the memories that vividly play in the minds of young adults. These replaced the praises that they should have received when they aced their exams, the ‘job well done’ when their projects get chosen for recognition, or even the ‘congratulations’ that should be given when one graduates. It is true that parenting styles differ from one family to another, but more often than not, they leave the same indelible mark, a recollection that lingers all through their lives—punishment.
How to react to difficult events?
It is true that most parents react instantaneously, sometimes violently, when a son gets tangled in a fight or when a daughter acts inappropriately with a guy. When these kinds of acts arise, punishment tends to rule the place. This punishment is a way to instill good behavior, yes it does. However, most parents forget to commend their children for their achievements or for good behavior. When a child misbehaves, they get punished almost immediately. But if they do good, they receive nothing, not even a pat on the back. This is one of the parenting styles that wounds or destroys a child’s self-worth.
Will Positive reinforcement help?
Positive reinforcement will help your child live a life with their self-confidence intact. One may assume that this is too much work, being aware of their children’s actions and whatnot, but this is the essence of being a parent—to guide one’s child every step of the way which includes communicating with them, being open and sharing sentiments. Sincerity is also part positive reinforcement. When giving compliments, let it not be a passing gesture like saying ‘I’m home’ then going straight to your room. Try to level with your child, this does not mean talking down to them, particularly if you have teenagers. Talk to them like young adults. Power struggle need not happen. Clarify what is expected from them and lay down the rules. Quality interaction and good communication covers a considerable chunk in the pie chart that is parenting and the covers a considerable number of chapters in books relating to the various parenting styles. Remember, reinforcements build confidence and such act could dissuade destructive behaviors.
When Parenting Skills Clash
Are you too strict? Is your spouse too lenient? Do your parenting skills collide with your partner’s? Is this conflict getting in the way of how you discipline your children? Are your children pulling one on you?
Children nowadays are too smart for their own good. There are parents who play bad cop, good cop. Whether the mother plays the latter or the father opt to portray the former, the bad cop always have the irk of the children. The typical family possesses the stern father and the compassionate mother figure but nowadays, this could be easily be disproved.
What parenting style is the best?
There is no book that dictates one person’s style of parenting to be better than the other. One partner maybe a product of austere parenting style, while the other could be an individual molded by the soft touch of a lax method. Your parenting skills will reflect on your children. They could miss the chance of being independent, they could be exposed to too much freedom, or they could turn out to be productive citizens. All of these depend on your decision on how to raise your child. Here enters one of the perks of being married, you need not decide on your own, you have your insights and he has his own, put it together and create disciplined children. However, it is not that easy. It is never that easy.
Methods children can use to get what they want!
Remember, children these days are quick to think. If they are being disciplined and one parent calls the attention of the other, they will play on that. And oh, how they will cleverly devise a plan to steer that to their own advantage. It should be realized that discussion with regards to parenting should be dealt with behind closed doors and not in front of children. Your children should know who ultimately holds the cards. And if during the card game, your children need to fold, make certain they know that you have their back and they have your full support.
Guidance of their parents
Children are placed under the guidance of their parents for a reason. The latter must find the balance between being firm and being gentle. You may choose to compromise given the range of both your parenting skills. Having two disciplinarians may cause problems, but if the decisions are mutually made, then it could be prevented.
Imagine an individual who had been praying to the gods for the perfect partner. Years have passed and so was her youth, yet no man was any close to her ideal spouse. Then it seemed that the heavens smiled at her, she found her soul mate. The puzzle that was her life has now been completed. The romance led to the altar, and from the altar they proceeded to live under a single roof.
Teenage kids from a previous marriage
Picture perfect, isn’t it? Well, not quite. Let us add a little spice to the mixture. How about teens, yes teens—teens from the husband’s first marriage. And their attitude towards her is nothing but indifference. Given this scenario, step parenting appears to be an obstacle that only a few can hurdle.
Challenges of committing to somebody who has already has kids.
Committing to someone who already has kids will certainly post challenges. You will not only devote your life to your new spouse but to his children as well. The statement may sound straight-forward and trouble free but the fact is, this is anything but straight-forward and trouble free. Adjustments will be made, lines will be drawn, and territorial places will be marked.
The rebellion phase
The accepting attitude of a child during the dating period will eventually turn into coldness, even rebellion. Once the knot has been tied, the walls of separation tend to grow thicker and higher. This rebellion phase will not last forever. But then again, this stage will not end in the near future either. Acceptance and consideration is part and parcel of step parenting. Your authority will be challenged and your place in the family will be questioned, this may be physically and emotionally draining, but as an adult it is only appropriate that you stand your ground, be understanding, and be calm.
What about Discipline?
Discipline will be an issue. With this said, a dictator will not earn any respect in the newly formed household. Effective step parenting demands that one stride the fine line when it comes to discipline. It is advisable that the parents discuss the issue in private and let the biological parent mete out the punishments, if such is necessary.
Many different qualities needed to be a step parent
There is more to being a step-parent than getting along and striving to live with step children. One should be unselfish enough to love them knowing that you are not their real parent. It is painful to say that no matter the amount of love and support you have given, they will always seek the love of their biological parent for there exist a crevasse that can only be filled by that biological connection. One should be mature and act appropriately with regard this kind of requirements.
With open communication and mutual respect and understanding between and among family members, biological or otherwise, step parenting will not be as burdensome as expected.
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