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Ford Fairlane a “Rock n’ Roll Detective” is a private detective who was hired to crack the murder of the famous Heavy Metal band singer named Bobby Black who was killed on stage while performing. Clues lead him to a mysterious teenage groupie named Zuzu Petals and all kinds of strange things start happening. The bad guy in the movie is Julian Grendel who owns the record company. After he found out that Black got 3 CD’s with Grendel’s suspicious doings, he murdered Black. And, of course, Fairlane kills Grendel at the end and after winning a radio contest, he gets the girl, the money and a koala.
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane Quotes
Here are the most popular quotes from The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.
Slam the Rapper:
Today is the last day of the rest of your life!
Ford Fairlane:
I could have been anything. I could have been a fisherman. Fishermen, they get up in the morning, they fish, they sell fish, they smell fish. Reminds me of a girl I used to go with, Yvonne. She smelled like fish.
Ford Fairlane:
You’re 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing moment in your life!
Ford Fairlane:
You see what I’m saying to you? That’s what I’m saying. What am I saying? I don’t know!
Ford Fairlane:
Keith Richards is rolling over in her grave. The frigin’ guy isn’t even dead yet!
Ford Fairlane:
They write about cases like these in the private eye handbook, honey. Something about a ten foot pole.
Ford Fairlane:
So many a**holes, so few bullets.
Ford Fairlane:
Write down my number, it’s 555-6321, got it?
A woman:
Yeah. Wait a minute, 5-5-5’s not a real number, they only use that in the movies.
Ford Fairlane:
No sh**, honey. What do you think this is, real life?
Ford Fairlane:
Have a Twinkee, snapperhead.
Ford Fairlane:
I’ve heard cats fu** with more harmony than this kid.
Girl:
Ford, we just needed to be held!
Ford Fairlane:
You got the bonus plan.
Ford Fairlane:
I’m so terrifical, I even had my own toll-free number: 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE.
Ford Fairlane:
Nice tie, Lt. Anus, sir.
Lt. Amos:
Are you calling me an a**hole, a**hole?
Ford Fairlane:
I’m calling you an anus, anus. But, if you prefer.
Ford Fairlane:
Now you pay . . . it’s called Citizen’s Castration.
Ford Fairlane:
Top of the world, ma!
Tourist:
We’re from Wisconsin.
Ford Fairlane:
Yeah, and I’m from my dad’s penis. Get outta here.
Johnny Crunch:
Guys like you, you do grow on trees.
Ford Fairlane:
Shake me, Jazz.
Ford Fairlane:
You’re just in time to see what I refer to as: solving the case. It’s cute. I think you’ll like it.
Ford Fairlane:
[W]hat are your names? Neil and Bob, or is that, like, what you do?
More Movie Quotes
There are many more iconic movie quotes on Kidzable. You can take a look at legendary Die Hard quotes for more fun.
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